all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have aggressive nipples.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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