OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
