After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
