I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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