The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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