Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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