sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
