Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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