I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
