i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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