is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Sober January is a disaster.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
