Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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