No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
