just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
