he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
