all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
