Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
