Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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