I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well you can't waste a boner
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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