shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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