yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
