brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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