I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize