you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
