Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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