I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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