The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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