Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
