New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
