Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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