so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
