I need to stop coming to work sober
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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