Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
