Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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