Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
