it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
