And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize