Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
