I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
