If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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