10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
that may or may not have been my penis.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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