these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
