No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
