College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
