Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
