I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize