peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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