How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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