I want to make a zoo with you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
