Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
