can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
