I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
