Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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