Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
please come you make the beer taste better
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
