dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize