She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
