he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
