I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
