Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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