dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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