can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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