I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
