i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
