hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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